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Her Stroke of Insight: Interview with Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor
Originally published in Science of Mind, October 2008
When brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D., realized she was having a massive stroke in the left hemisphere of her brain, she had two reactions: “Oh my God, I’m having a stroke,” and “I’m having a stroke—how cool!”
A neuroanatomist at the Harvard Medical School, she had a unique opportunity to watch part of her own brain shutting down until she became unable to talk or walk, to retain or access memories, or even to sense the physical boundaries of her body. In her book, My Stroke of Insight, she later wrote: “…I must say that I learned as much about my brain and how it functions during that stroke, as I had in all my years of academia.”
When the large aneurysm closed down her left hemisphere, her constant mind chatter (something we all experience) was stilled and many of her normal mental and emotional constraints evaporated. Her right brain became dominant, shifting her into the perception that she was at one with the universe, as she recalls in her book. This shift transformed her life and her knowledge of how the two halves of the brain work.
The stroke happened in 1996, and it took her seven years to fully recover, with the help of her devoted mother and excellent caregivers. Yet she says the stroke was a blessing and an opportunity for transformation. She has given many impassioned presentations about her experiences, was featured in the PBS program Understanding the Amazing Brain, and was named one of Time magazine’s Most Influential People for 2008. She is a spokesperson for the Harvard Brain Tissue Resource Center (the “Brain Bank”) and the consulting neuroanatomist for the Midwest Proton Radiotherapy Institute.
Dr. Taylor now teaches and researches neuroanatomy at the Indiana University School of Medicine in Bloomington, Ind. Her Web site is www.drjilltaylor.com.
Originally published in Science of Mind, October 2008
When brain scientist Jill Bolte Taylor, Ph.D., realized she was having a massive stroke in the left hemisphere of her brain, she had two reactions: “Oh my God, I’m having a stroke,” and “I’m having a stroke—how cool!”
A neuroanatomist at the Harvard Medical School, she had a unique opportunity to watch part of her own brain shutting down until she became unable to talk or walk, to retain or access memories, or even to sense the physical boundaries of her body. In her book, My Stroke of Insight, she later wrote: “…I must say that I learned as much about my brain and how it functions during that stroke, as I had in all my years of academia.”
When the large aneurysm closed down her left hemisphere, her constant mind chatter (something we all experience) was stilled and many of her normal mental and emotional constraints evaporated. Her right brain became dominant, shifting her into the perception that she was at one with the universe, as she recalls in her book. This shift transformed her life and her knowledge of how the two halves of the brain work.
The stroke happened in 1996, and it took her seven years to fully recover, with the help of her devoted mother and excellent caregivers. Yet she says the stroke was a blessing and an opportunity for transformation. She has given many impassioned presentations about her experiences, was featured in the PBS program Understanding the Amazing Brain, and was named one of Time magazine’s Most Influential People for 2008. She is a spokesperson for the Harvard Brain Tissue Resource Center (the “Brain Bank”) and the consulting neuroanatomist for the Midwest Proton Radiotherapy Institute.
Dr. Taylor now teaches and researches neuroanatomy at the Indiana University School of Medicine in Bloomington, Ind. Her Web site is www.drjilltaylor.com.
Science of Mind: You feel fortunate now that you had a stroke, or at least the particular stroke you had. Why is that, and what do you think was its biggest blessing?
Jill Bolte Taylor: Even on the morning of the stroke, I felt very positive about having the opportunity to explore my brain and how it organizes information from a different perspective. I had been so fascinated with this beautiful organ my whole life and fascinated with other people who had brains that functioned differently—specifically, bipolar, schizophrenia, the severe mental illnesses. The stroke was an educational opportunity for me to be able to observe my own shift in reality. I consider the whole experience a blessing because I had the opportunity to make a choice as to who do I want to be in the world now? How do I want to be? I learned that I have the ability to pick and choose which circuits run, which circuits I fuel and give energy to and let go wild again. And that there are circuits that I don’t have to allow to run anymore.
Jill Bolte Taylor: Even on the morning of the stroke, I felt very positive about having the opportunity to explore my brain and how it organizes information from a different perspective. I had been so fascinated with this beautiful organ my whole life and fascinated with other people who had brains that functioned differently—specifically, bipolar, schizophrenia, the severe mental illnesses. The stroke was an educational opportunity for me to be able to observe my own shift in reality. I consider the whole experience a blessing because I had the opportunity to make a choice as to who do I want to be in the world now? How do I want to be? I learned that I have the ability to pick and choose which circuits run, which circuits I fuel and give energy to and let go wild again. And that there are circuits that I don’t have to allow to run anymore.
It’s been very freeing to not have to hook into my stress circuitry, for one. To not hook into that little, bitty voice inside that is mean. She doesn’t come around anymore. She’s really not welcome. To know I have the ability to consciously choose to be a compassionate human being has been a tremendous blessing. I would not trade that morning for anything. It happened, and I learned and I’ve grown. So I celebrate that.
SOM: Did you have any idea before the stroke that you could make these kinds of choices about your emotions?
JBT: I was always a believer that I could change my thoughts by choosing to think about different things. But I had zero idea or understanding that I could change my emotions. I was much more ruled by my passions. My passions were me, and they were the rulers. That is enormously different now.
SOM: In the book you describe how, when you feel an emotion coming up, you decide if you want to go with it or not. How do you do that?
JBT: I go much more with the feeling rooted inside of my body. There are certain thoughts that will come into my mind, and I can feel this energy, this dynamic that feels like an upset stomach taking over my insides. I don’t like that feeling. I just recognize it immediately and dissipate it as quickly as possible by shifting my thoughts, by bringing myself right back to the immediate present moment, and I let that all just settle back down again. This is how I approach my life—I follow the stirrings inside of me and how things feel inside of me. Anger, for example. We all know what anger feels like when it has that physiological hold on us. The secret is to recognize when it first starts, and within the first few seconds, I shift my mind away from the thoughts that are provoking that circuit to run and let it dissipate. Because once that feeling makes it into my brain and takes hold of me, it’s a lot harder for me to shake it than if I just nip it in the bud. I pay a lot of attention to how things in my environment feel in my body. Most of the time I’m pretty neutral and there’s nothing going on. Sometimes there’s pleasure or joy. With certain kinds of music, I feel an elation. But there are some animosities that I feel, and I really just immediately
SOM: Did you have any idea before the stroke that you could make these kinds of choices about your emotions?
JBT: I was always a believer that I could change my thoughts by choosing to think about different things. But I had zero idea or understanding that I could change my emotions. I was much more ruled by my passions. My passions were me, and they were the rulers. That is enormously different now.
SOM: In the book you describe how, when you feel an emotion coming up, you decide if you want to go with it or not. How do you do that?
JBT: I go much more with the feeling rooted inside of my body. There are certain thoughts that will come into my mind, and I can feel this energy, this dynamic that feels like an upset stomach taking over my insides. I don’t like that feeling. I just recognize it immediately and dissipate it as quickly as possible by shifting my thoughts, by bringing myself right back to the immediate present moment, and I let that all just settle back down again. This is how I approach my life—I follow the stirrings inside of me and how things feel inside of me. Anger, for example. We all know what anger feels like when it has that physiological hold on us. The secret is to recognize when it first starts, and within the first few seconds, I shift my mind away from the thoughts that are provoking that circuit to run and let it dissipate. Because once that feeling makes it into my brain and takes hold of me, it’s a lot harder for me to shake it than if I just nip it in the bud. I pay a lot of attention to how things in my environment feel in my body. Most of the time I’m pretty neutral and there’s nothing going on. Sometimes there’s pleasure or joy. With certain kinds of music, I feel an elation. But there are some animosities that I feel, and I really just immediately
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